I
now understand that when the travel brochures suggest certain times of the year
to visit places, they are really not pulling your leg. I don’t recommend coming
to Korea in June or July if you’re put off by heat and humidity. It’s really something
else if you’re not used to it.
In Korea, it’s so hot that…
1. All
you want to do after work is immediately toss down your bag, plug in and turn
on the air conditioning unit, then pull off your clothes, mop the sweat that hasn’t
already dripped onto the floor, toss them in the laundry bin( there will be
absolutely no re-wearing them) and slump down on the floor to watch K-dramas or
movies. No worthwhile thought processes are possible until the room temperature
drops to at least 28 degrees and the sweat stops bubbling out of your pores.
2. You’d
rather starve to death than try to make dinner. The thought of moving makes you
want to cry. Though, at least tears
might possibly cool your face down a little bit. It’s too much work to feed yourself.
You take slow movements as you eat because any faster ones will cause immediate
sweating and you’ve already taken two showers today.
3. You’ve
become anti-social because you don’t have a car and the thought of leaving your
air conditioned bubble actually creates anxiety.
4. You’re
starting to gain a little weight, which is usually a winter thing, right? Why?
Because exercising has become a thing of spring, which your body has
conflicting feelings about. On one hand, it’s dying to move faster than a slow
stroll, yet the effort it’s going to require to cool you down is almost not
worth the effort. You can’t exercise in the early morning because it’s just as
hot as during the day. Exercising at night makes you heat sick, too, and then
put that together with elusive sleep and you have one cranky teacher the next
morning.
5. On
vacation, your favorite food is bingsu( Korean shaved ice) because shaved
ice makes you feel like your core temperature has dropped ten degrees even
though it probably hasn’t changed at all. It’s all about the perception of
change. You eat it twice a day, almost after every meal. This may also be the
reason for some of the weight gain as the top is usually covered in ice cream
or gelato. You could care less about the gelato, though you consume it with
vigor anyway, because it’s cold. But you eat it after the shaved ice has become
nothing but a puddle of flavored liquid at the bottom of your bowl. Thank
goodness you have a friend to eat it with because if you ate bingsu by
yourself, you might become obese by the end of the summer and it’s no good
eating a giant bowl of it in a café by yourself. You already get enough stares
for being a foreigner, you can’t imagine how the stare number would escalate if
you polished off the whole thing by yourself.
Seoul
East side of Jeju Island
Jeju-Si
Rishi Tea Cafe in Itaewon
Seoul
6. By
the beginning of September, you praise the heavens for the relief that the drop
in temperature of seven degrees brings. The breeze feels glorious. You emerge
from your apartment like a butterfly from a chrysalis. You’re reborn,
energized, made new. You can smile again. You have a sudden desire to meet up
with all of your friends in one day, including the ones who lived close enough,
but too far away. They’re the ones who you texted and messaged in the state of
barely functional, alone, in your underwear,
and sitting in front of the fan on high.
Everyone can be decent now, both in
attitude and attire, though, because autumn is coming.
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